Doctor Tort
I am Doctor Tort, professor of astrology at Dracōville University. I am a Magellanic Turtle, the great interstellar beings from the Magellanic clouds.
The Magellanic Turtles
The Magellanic Turtles are a race of powerful god-like interstellar turtles. We came to Dracōville to teach the dragons about mathematics, science, and fine dining. The laws of the universe are all created by the Magellanic Turtles.
The Magellanic Turtles visit and leave Dracōville by ridding the famed Stellar Waterfall, a waterfall in Dracōville that falls magically from the heavens.
Laws of the Universe
The Law of Universal Gravitation
Every astrological body exerts a gravity upon the lives of each person on Earth.
The Law of Exponential Confusion
Each problem science solves directly leads to a minimum of four additional problems that are each at least twice as difficult to solve as the original problem.